The shit is about to hit the fan... BIG TIME!

I have had to deal with a lot of shit since I left college. I had this amazingly loving boyfriend, named Joe. He was the best thing that ever happened in my life. I get home from college, he gets back from a vacation. He calls me, alot..., and my mom says that we need to talk. The 4 of us sit down, have a discusion, and Joe and I can date. That's good for about a few weeks. Then, he refuses to actually break up with Brandi. He said they were done, and I should believe him.

Needless to say, he started spending a lot of time at the Basin's house. One in particular must have caught his eye. Nicole. I was worried about Jessica or Courtney... not nicole. She's really large... like i think bigger then me. But i don't know why he cose her. Anyways, they had sex in a swimming pool. As in, Joe and Nicole. Well, joe had been trying to deny it for the longest time. He finally admitted it once.

The moment was PERFECT! Right when he pulls over on a busy highway, he starts telling me how sorry he was. He said that it had been a fling and that the reason that he's up there all the time is because he is too drunk to drive home. I know better! He never drinks too much. I'm the dumb one to do that.
Anyways, he told me that he loved me. No matter what happens between us, and where we end up... he'll love me. probably just in the brother sister way. And I don't even know if that's true. till now.

Last monday night, i went out drinking. Normal night, but Joe had seriously pissed me off because I played a joke on him. I played a joke, and it pissed him off. I tried to apologize, but he said he didn't care, he didn't want to talk to me because he was with his girlfriend nicole. Well. I got extremely pissed off, and decided the best thing to do was to drink. I drank a lot that night. When I finally woke up... I was in the ER at penn yan hospital.

The diagnosis... Death.

kid you not... i was dead... for 2 minutes. I had stopped breathing at the party, was found in a friends car, and taken to the hospital by said friend. When I got there, they had to use the AED pads on me, and it took a few tries... i guess. Wasn't really around for it... i heard this all second hand. I got out of the hospital... leaving my cell in a friends purse. I went to the mall with Gina, then went to work. my friend dropped my phone off at work for me... and told me she had texted joe.

The text said : "Not the you'll care or anything, but kat almost died last night. She was at a party, pissed off at you. She drank a lot, passed out in my car. I went to check on her, and she wasn't breathing. I took her to the hospital. She was dead for two minutes. I bet you if she had died last night, you wouldn't even have been phased! This is all your fault!"

He never got it, he heard it from Nicole, that heard it from brittany. He was worried, so he called me while i was at work. I told him what happened. Then I said that he wouldn't have cared anyways. Well, i hung up the phone with him... and hadn't talked to him. Till sunday night.

I was coming home from work, and he drove passed me, then turned around. He stopped next to me. I got into the truck and we went down to watkins glen to hang out in the walmart parking lot. He basically just wanted to check me over to make sure i was ok. I don't understand why. He acts like he could care less what happens to me. He told me that he wasn't dating nicole. And that he had finally told brandi to get her shit out. Good news? Not sure yet. Well, him and I fell asleep in the parking lot. Woke p monday morning, went down and talked at the crossing, then came back to dundee. Well, the story doesn't end here... sorry

I told Brittany about what happened. She has been telling me over and over again that joe is dating nicole. Well, brittany finally asked nicole what was going on. I guess joe and nicole really are just a fling. They're not dating. Joe was right. Still doesn't make it right. Brittany was trying to get a ride down to dundee for the night, and she called joe. She told joe what I had told her. Joe got mad and called me. He yelled at me for telling brittany, and that he had had enough of me telling everyone what happend between me and him. I told him that he was right, and that I shouldn't say anything. I tried to apologize, but i think it has fallen on deaf ears. So, it'll probably be a week or so before I hear from him again. He knew I was at work when he called to talk to me before coming into to town. He was gonna stop by the sugar creek to come get me. Cuz he was bored. well, too damn bad. I don't want to be his thing anymore. I'm truely thinking of giving up on guys. This probably won't be the last time I rant about Joe and me. That's the sad part. Comment? Questions? Concerns? Post them!

P.S. Beth... death doesn't have braces, just a shit load of rum! And If you want to know, I can't tell you what was on the other side... lol. I had a dream that i was still at the party, and Joe showed up and was mad that i was drinking. I went to run away from him, and I got hit by a car. Then I woke up in the hospital bed. Weird, eh?